User:Lolcatistan/Fictional tweets (and some replies)

(Note that this does not include all tweets.)

Ellen Peck (@ellenpeck)

 * January 28, 2022: “Just bought an ape.” (picture of Ellen at the MTM Films studio lot, bottle-feeding a baby Western Gorilla (Gorilla gorilla))
 * ”Ellen got high, heard about celebrities “buying apes”, and took it a little too literally.”
 * ”Thought you had changed your mind on N/F/Ts, and nearly had a heart attack when I read that.”
 * ”I know you’re just trying to flex on crypto-bros, but you really shouldn’t keep wild animals around.”
 * (Ellen’s reply) “I didn’t really “buy” it. The zoo just lent it to us for a TV show.”
 * February 26, 2022: “Only cr*pto address I will EVER repost.” (quote retweet of the Ukrainian government account’s crypto address)
 * ”You know you’ve done something bad, when you’ve got Ellen Peck to promote a crypto address.”
 * March 26, 2022: “Stop trying to make Elon Musk buying Twitter happen. It isn’t gonna happen.”
 * ”How about YOU buy Twitter instead?”
 * (Ellen’s reply) “No.”
 * April 6, 2022: “I have never endorsed any kind of CBD gummies. These fake news articles are SCAMS.”
 * April 25, 2022 (responding to a tweet about BAYC being hacked): “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
 * May 11, 2022: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #cryptocrash”
 * June 2, 2022 (responding to an announcement of official Looney Tunes NFTs): “Nobody wanted this.”
 * June 22, 2022 (quote-tweeting this): “I guess nothing is sacred.”
 * July 3, 2022: “To whoever hacked the British Army YT and TWT accts to shill their crypto scam: When INTERPOL comes by, tell ‘em Auntie Ellen said hello.”
 * July 8, 2022: “Elon finally gave up. Now it’s my turn. Or more accurately, it’s @argosymtm’s turn.”
 * July 11, 2022: “Digital terrestrial television is the most underrated platform. It’s free forever, it’s cheap to set up (all you have to buy is the antenna, since you probably already have a TV set), and does your cable box have Me-TV?”
 * July 20, 2022: “Netflix keeps making dumb decisions. If I ever buy ‘em, Chapelle is out the door.”
 * July 29, 2022: “Fuck the Indonesian government and fuck KOMINFO. Net neutrality should be a human right.”
 * August 1, 2022: “The .io and .xyz TLDs are now officially UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT. AMTM Domains ToU now applies. Now y’all crypto-bros will have to use dirt-cheap dot-tk domains.”
 * August 4, 2022: “David Zaslav is dumber than a box of rocks. Good thing I have all this venture-capital money lined up. AMTM + WBD + what remains of FOX after the Disney deal + maybe also Netflix = ???”
 * August 5, 2022: “Seriously, signing a fucking Nazi monkey NFT as a soccer player? This is why we need to #TakeBackMLS, and soon. NASCAR, lacrosse, and arena football are all doing quite well under @argosymtm.”
 * September 9, 2022: “I was asleep all of yesterday, what did I miss?”
 * September 10, 2022 (replying to this): “Cancel it permanently. Love, Mama Ellen.”
 * September 12, 2022 (quote tweeting this): “As a citizen of 3 Commonwealth Realms (EK, UK, and Canada), I consider myself a royalist (God Save The King), but this is a little excessive.”
 * September 27, 2022 (linking to this article): “Martin Mobarak should be permanently transitioned into a wood chipper.”
 * December 19, 2022: “And the new CEO of Twitter is-WHAT’S THIS? BY GOD, IT’S ELLEN PECK WITH A STEEL CHAIR!” (photo of Ellen walking into the Twitter offices holding a steel chair)
 * (In response to this, Ellen posted a pencil sketch of the characters from Big Mouth being graphically killed by the cast of The Aaron Show.)

Team Bastet (as a group) (@teambastet)

 * July 4, 2016: “From the n00bs to the pros, all hackers are welcome at Team Bastet. Even the script-kiddies.”
 * November 3, 2016: “We are apolitical, we do not target political targets.”
 * May 12, 2017: “We worked together with @malwaretech to find the kill switch in #WannaCry.”
 * July 16, 2020: ”You post your shitcoin scam on OUR twitter, you get doxxed. Don’t mess with us.”
 * November 1, 2020: “Once again: We are apolitical, we do not target political targets.”
 * May 5, 2021: ”TANGO DOWN for OpenSea. To paraphrase that other hacking group: We do not forgive, we do not forget, expect us. #operationclosedsea”
 * June 29, 2021: “We didn’t DDOS kiwifarms, our policy is to ignore kiwifarms, it’s a too obvious target. It’s more fun to target scammers and crypto-bros.”
 * February 27, 2022: “Let @YourAnonNews deal with Russia, we’re fighting our own fight.”
 * March 26, 2022: “@saylor and @microstrategy are hacked. Retaliation for Nathaniel Bandy. #savenathanielbandy”
 * April 5, 2022: “Join us, @lospelaosbro, and help take out scammers and crypto-bros.”
 * April 6, 2022 (reply to tweet by Ellen Peck): “We’re honoured to deface these scam sites. (and every other site saying some celebrity endorsed CBD gummies)”

Bastet (founder of Team Bastet) (@bastethax)

 * October 25, 2015: “This is awesome. @mtmenterprises should make it into a full series.” (YouTube link to Mimsie 4ever pilot)
 * (reply by Ellen Peck) “We’re working on it.”
 * June 4, 2019: “I dont give a shit about kiwifarms, you shouldnt either.”
 * March 15, 2021 (replying to the official ArgosyMTM Group account announcing that they would never do NFTs): “Based.”
 * March 22, 2022: “Babylon Bee is inferior to The Onion and Hard Drive anyway, nobody sane will miss it.”
 * March 26, 2022: “LOL @ people who seriously want Elon Musk to buy Twitter.”
 * March 28, 2022: “Warner Brothers won’t restore your precious Snyderverse. Cry about it, lol.”
 * April 13, 2022: “Elon Musk buying Twitter will end the exact same way as Yahoo buying Tumblr.”
 * September 9, 2022: “Wait, Micronesia had a Queen?”
 * October 10, 2022 (quote tweeting this article): “I don’t mean to brag, but I have some IRL friends who legitimately possess old El Kadsreian missiles.”